


i want to be here (but not without you)

by eggrater



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Grand Prix Final 2017-2018, M/M, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 10:11:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggrater/pseuds/eggrater
Summary: This year's Grand Prix Final is not the same.Written for Yuzuru Hanyu's 23rd birthday.





	i want to be here (but not without you)

**Author's Note:**

> This is written in a rush, but please, bear with it. 
> 
> Happy birthday, Yuzuru. Thank you for being a really big impact, a really big inspiration in my life. You taught me the thrill of flying, and thank you for always being so brave. I hope only good things will happen to you from here and out. Thank you for being born.

Nagoya, December 7th 2017 

If there’s one thing Shoma knows about this year’s GPF: it’s not like a Final.

It feels like a normal GP Qualification competition, where he and Yuzuru aren’t assigned on the same competition. He wants to do his best, though, after all, this is Nagoya. This is his hometown. This is where he trains. He wants to make everyone proud.

But he can’t help but feel a little bit weird without Yuzuru around.

Grand Prix Finals seem to be empty, it feels so much different without Yuzuru’s presence, maybe that’s why he’s called the God of Grand Prix Final. Yuzuru always seem so happy spending his birthday at the Final, and it made Shoma happy too.

Short program is in 2 hours, so Shoma took his phone, dialed Yuzuru’s number. He knows Yuzuru’s up, Javier mentioned something like making a surprise for Yuzuru in the middle of the night or something.

“Hello,” Yuzuru’s voice come in. “Shoma? Isn’t the short program soon?”

“It’s December 7th there.” Shoma didn’t bother answering Yuzuru’s question. “Happy birthday.”

Yuzuru chuckled. “You could have called me after the short program,” silence. “Thank you. I wish I was there.”

“I wish you were here too,” Shoma choked out, there are too many feelings bubbling inside him. Yuzuru has always fought so bravely, and his decision to withdraw from NHK Trophy was the bravest decision Shoma has ever seen him made. But Shoma isn’t Yuzuru, and he’s always the bravest when Yuzuru’s around. Not like this. “I, I wish you would be able to see me skate.”

“Sho,” he said softly, but it felt distant. “Promise me you’ll skate your best today. Make it a gift for me. Even I need a birthday gift, you know?” He chuckled, and it’s soft, light hearted in Shoma’s ears. “I’ll do my best so I can compete at Nationals.”

Shoma didn’t know how to answer to that. Yuzuru’s voice made his heart flutter, yet tears are building up in his eyes, thinking about how long has it been since Yuzuru spent his birthday not in the Grand Prix Final. And of all seasons, it had to be the Olympic season.

He thought of the rest of the season, how messed up the GP Series are. So many people are injured, so many withdrawals, so many sad announcements. Even Evgenia and Boyang couldn’t be here. Skating is Shoma’s life, of course, he can’t imagine his life without it. But he can’t imagine skating without Yuzuru either. He can’t imagine his _life_ without Yuzuru in it.

Yuzuru’s existence is the center of this sport. He holds them up, all by himself.

Shoma wonders if he will ever be able to do that too.

“I will skate my best today.” Shoma said, determined. “I’ll make you proud on your birthday.”

He could feel Yuzuru smiling softly from his voice. “Don’t get married to anyone on the podium.”

Shoma chuckled. “That’s for you only, birthday boy.”

If there’s one thing Shoma knows about figure skating: It’s not the same without Yuzuru in it.

**Author's Note:**

> say hi to me on twitter : @eggrater <3


End file.
